Title: Aftermath
Rating: PG
First Posted: June 12, 2001
Notes: Post "Epiphany" and pre "Belonging".
"Aftermath" is a direct follow-on from the events in "Praeludere", the Cordelia/Giles segment of this series. We are now back in the land of C/A!
"Aftermath" will be taking on a part-journal, part-talking to yourself and part-dialogue style. It works for me, I hope it works for you!
Dedication: This chapter is specially for Wren, who bravely endured all the Cordelia/Giles that I threw at her in "Praeludere". Thanks also to the regulars at the fantastic "Stranger Things" for all the fabulous feedback on "Praeludere". You're tremendous!
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Feedback: Cherished. admin@florrie-fic.com
I should have showered some more. Or maybe not. I wasn’t thinking about him... much. It wasn’t intentional. No way had I planned on going back to LA and bursting into the Hyperion, megaphone at the ready, with a “you’ll never guess who I just screwed!” And screwed, and screwed and screwed until we both fell asleep half-way up the stairs. Okay, at least that part he couldn’t sniff out of me.
I remembered Angel’s sense of smell in time to have several washes before I left Sunnydale, and then some more after Giles had kindly come in to the shower to ‘give me a hand’. Boy, that man is insatiable, in an mmmm-good way. I think I let loose a slumbering English casanova.
Would I have told Angel about my sex-fest with Giles, even if he hadn’t smelt it out for himself? Probably not. I know I had my ‘well I did stay over with Giles and he did lend me a tee shirt to sleep in’ excuse all ready and I brought it out much too soon. I shouldn’t have needed an excuse. Angel is... special, to me, sure. I think of him as a friend, I love him as a friend so why do I need an excuse?
I didn’t think he would approve, okay? Of me - with Giles. Too old, too close, too Sunnydale, too Angelus, too much history. I don’t know. Just one of those ‘gut feelings’ you get.
Angel used to want to interrogate my dates before the “Darla split” and since he has been back he has been super-hovery. Weird in a nice sense. I can just see Angel if I ever dated Giles; Giles driving up to the Hyperion in that hot sporty car, looking middle-aged drool-worthy in a black tux... “What time will you have Cordelia home?” "Where will you be going?" Oh shit, it should be my father asking Angel those questions... but we all know there’s no chance there! Damn, where did that one come from? I haven’t done unsuitable Angel-type thoughts in ages!
But, anyway, it happened. The nose radar was zooming in as soon as I walked through the Hotel doors.
“Hi, you’re back! Good trip?”
“Hiya, yeah, not much traffic.”
“Good. And Sunnydale?”
“Still the same.”
“Giles?”
“Fine, healthy, full of energy...”
“Great. You, um...”
"I had a great time, yep."
"And you, you must have um,...
“Giles lent me a tee-shirt to sleep in, wasn’t that nice of him?”
“Right, that er, that doesn’t explain... Cord?”
“Cordelia! Hello, did the newt-eyes travel well?”
“Everything is in a box in the trunk, Wes, and those gross eyes are in the cooler. I refused to have them sitting on the back seat glaring at me all the way from Sunnydale.”
“Excellent. Angel? Could you give me a hand?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m right behind you.... Cordy, we need to talk...”
“No, we don’t.”
“Angel? Are you coming?”
She reeked of him. In her hair, on her skin, her breath, her clothes and when she walked past me, god, the over-powering Giles of her.
In the past I’ve had occasion to want to rip apart men who have hurt Cordelia, but they were nothing to how I felt smelling him... all... fucking... over... her. Stunned. What had he done? Talked her into sleeping at his place? Comforted her after the vision and kept on comforting her? Told her sex would help? Soft-talked her, played on her loneliness, pinned her down and... ugh. She didn’t look hurt. She didn’t sound hurt. How can I protect her if I don't know what I am fighting? Shit, she wouldn’t, couldn’t want to - not with a man that she’d never particularly liked. Did she notice him back in High School? Damn, back then I was too busy with other stuff to freaking pay attention!
Yeah, yeah, I know, none of my business... but, you see, Cordelia is my friend, my... Cordelia - and I want to look after her even more now... after I came so close to destroying them all. Except she doesn’t know that and I don’t see how I can tell her, not anytime soon.
If Cord will only tell me that she was Giles’ willing partner - god, the image is sickening - then I’ll let it rest. I think.
Until then, hot pokers, disemboweling, eye-gouging, a spiked rack... too painless... cut the fucking thing off...slowly.
I somehow forgot to tell Cordy that Giles had called. He wanted her to call him when she got back to L.A. Something about making sure the bat potash arrived safely. He is full of crap.
I didn’t get to talk to her alone for a few hours, not that we were precisely alone at the time...
“Angel, I’m busy!”
“I understand, I’m getting into a personal area, but...”
“Cordelia, the sealing-powder, now!”
"Powdering, Wes! Angel, move your butt!"
“I’m worried about you and if he did...”
“Angel, pull the crucible more to the left!”
“The left. Okay, Wes. You see, Cord, if he hurt you and you...”
“More sealing-powder, Cordelia, quickly!”
“Got it, Wes! Angel, not now!”
“None of my business, I know, but sometimes it’s good to talk out our pain...”
“Angel, are you ready with that battle-axe?”
“Not a problem, Wes... because you know, Cord, if we bottle up pain and despair we do things we regret...” ...swoosh..., “and later on they bubble to the surface... Wes, duck!” ...swish..., “and we get blamed for not sharing with our friends,” ...plerrkkk... , “Got it, Wes... which leads to unpleasantness for everyone...”
“Angel, guilt trip? What have you been doing?”
“What? Me? Nothing... an example.”
“You aren’t going to let it rest are you? Come on, I need to get this Kulgreff, Kilgriff, whatever, gunk off me.”
So I decided to give him the whole story. Uncencorsed. Without the actual sex scenes. Yes, censored. He took it really well. A couple of growls, but I am confident if the two of them come face to face in the next few months there won’t be any bloodshed. Geesh, did I just take a little trip to Denial? He despises me, he thinks I’m a whore. A man can go out and have plain ‘sex’ but a woman? No way. If he did it, I’d understand, right? Assuming he was normal and there was no curse and preferably it was nobody I knew or...
Lord, he hates me.
And I am so pissed at the guy.
“You were lonely, right?”
“Not like desperate desperate. No! I was attracted and I was in the mood and well, so was Giles. Everything was... great!”
“Great? And you said you started it? You?”
“Um, yeah. Me. Modern-girl.”
“You did?”
“Geesh, Angel. Giles wasn’t going to get Tango-ey in Paris, he has age issues and responsibility issues and gentleman issues. If I hadn’t let him know I was interested then....”
“Can you explain that again? You were actually interested? In Giles? But... but...”
“Giles is attractive and he’s very well, sensual and gentle and the way he...”
“Don’t... I don’t want details.”
“I’m not going to give you any details! Geesh, you asked why the attraction - I don’t have to tell you anything!”
“No, you don’t. This only happened once, right?”
“Boy! If it helps you deal... once, yeah, that’s right.”
“So. More than once?”
“Stop. Now, get this straight, Angel. I spent an evening with Giles and we did some wonderful... wow, great things together and that is it. We had sex, we didn’t make love. It’s over. We agreed. Both of us. No consequences. Are you with me?”
“You don’t love him?”
“No. I like him. I’ll never love him.”
“Do you think it will happen again?”
“I just said...”
“No...um, will it happen like this with other men that you meet and you decide... you decide sex would be ‘wonderful’...”
“Hey, thin ice, buster. I’m no whore. Don’t you dare try to put me down over Giles or any other guy I might hook up with in the future!”
“I didn’t mean... I just want to know...”
“Don’t. No more. Did I tell you I ran into Spike?”
I just want to know, so I can prepare myself. So the next time you come in stinking of some guy I don’t have to try and swallow my filthy curiosity. Curiosity? Who you trying to fool? What about possessiveness? ‘Cept you can’t be possessive of someone who isn’t yours. And never will be.
She didn’t kick me out. I expected her to and I know I deserved a drubbing. I always do, it goes without saying. Instead she told me all about her meeting with Spike. I had to concentrate but I’m glad I did. I even laughed. God, I love the girl. She can even make me forget how much I despise myself.
But she must hate me.
